To give you the clearest glimpse of The Lord of the Rings: The Return of the King, let me take you back to late 2003. You’ve just arrived home from a long day at school, and the times tables the teacher patiently tried to drill into your skull have become rather tiresome. Truthfully, there has only been one thing on your mind all day: your new PlayStation 2 game that you were given for your birthday. You’re the first through the door at home, then you enter the living room and throw your lunchbox on the couch. With your parents’ permission, you call your best friend from the house landline and invite them over.
When he arrives, you run upstairs to find all the leftover snacks you’ve kept from your birthday. Your friend is excited by the Dib Dabs and the Space Raiders crisps. In the TV reflection, you see two children who are wide-eyed from the rush of sugar, ready to save Middle-earth from doom.
“What game are we playing then?” your friend asks. You don’t need to reply. Instead, you show him the PlayStation 2 case for The Lord of the Rings: The Return of the King. The image on the case shows Aragorn and Gandalf looking stern as they’re surrounded by an army of Orcs. The last thing you do is show your friend the shiny Official Merchandise sticker, then you put the disc into the console and load up the game. You then have one of the best nights of your childhood as you defeat Sauron and destroy the One Ring.
I Felt Like the Return of the King
That was 2003, and what a time it was. Now, I’m pushing thirty. And I wanted to see whether this game would still be the pure perfection I thought it was twenty years ago, or whether it was just the Dip Dabs and Space Raiders turning my brain to mush. I felt like I had just stepped out of a time machine when I saw the PlayStation 2 start-up screen, and I was ready to embrace the past. Knowing full well that I was at risk of tarnishing a perfect memory, I put the disc in the console, and I was overwhelmed by what happened next.
The main menu of the game is a masterpiece. Aragorn is standing in his tremendous final battle attire, with the incredible soundtrack blaring in my headphones. As you can imagine, I was immediately absorbed into the world of Middle-earth. I didn’t realise quite how long I’d been sitting, staring at the menu, until I was pleasantly surprised by the game’s trailer appearing on my screen.
The game starts by providing clips from the movies, with a full backstory of the previous film’s events. A part of me wishes that Gandalf could be the next England football manager. After he made it very clear just how perilous the situation in The Lord of the Rings: The Return of the King had become. For the cause, I was ready to walk to the end of Middle-earth and the fire of Mount Doom myself. So, I picked my controller up and pressed the start button.
Take Me Back to Simpler Times
As a kid who was obsessed with The Lord of the Rings, it was magical to have the cut scenes phase into the gameplay at the start of levels. There is no better way to immerse the player in a world than to visibly become the character on screen. Defeating enemies is very satisfying, and there are different ways to do it. Each button offers a unique way of attacking, and each character has their fighting style. Gandalf fights using his staff, Aragorn his sword, Legolas his bow, and Gimli his Axe.
Experience Points (XP) are earned by repeatedly hitting enemies until the Skill Meter increases. Fair ratings are the easiest to get but generate the fewest Skill Points, while Good and Excellent ratings are worth more and require you to string together several hits without taking damage. If you manage to achieve Perfect on the Skill Meter, you will enhance your attack damage and generate maximum XP. In true PlayStation 2 style, smashing buttons in combos gets you more points.
XP also increases your character’s level, and you can then spend the points on upgrades in the shop. I’ve completed this game many times over the years, even in one night, but I never knew until now that you can save XP by buying upgrades for the whole Fellowship. This got me wondering what else I might find that I didn’t know before.
I was very nervous about saving the game on a Memory Card that I knew didn’t work properly. Thankfully, it held on to my saved data, so I didn’t have to bang out the game in one playthrough. So, after I had completed the first mission and bought some new combos, I was ready to try out a new character.
When I Say New…
Yes, I only play as Aragorn when he’s an option, and my friend would always be Legolas. After over twenty years, I can honestly say I’ve never once played as Legolas and wouldn’t even know how to use him.
I remember like it was yesterday, being forced to slow down in the fog as the ghosts swarm around us. The adventurer inside of me wants to explore every dark avenue for the thrill of it, but I admit that this often leads to me losing my way. There were even occasions where I found myself back at the start of the mission, dumbfounded as to how I got there.
Enemies can appear from all angles, scaring the living daylights out of you. It’s a paralysing feeling when you’re knocked to the floor, but when you or your opponent has committed to an attack, there’s nothing you can do to stop it. Allies do get in your way a lot, which can be very frustrating when you’re surrounded by Orcs or worse, spiders.
The Monster Button-Mash
After my most recent playthrough, I’m willing to accept that there is a lot of button-mashing in this game. I understand that for some people, that is a real problem. For me, though, I actually find it satisfying to farm every enemy for XP before proceeding with the level. This reminds me of a discussion I had when I was younger. The question was: do the enemies endlessly respawn, or do they run out of soldiers? I couldn’t remember our outcome, so I decided that I’d find out during my playthrough.
I guess there is a lot of button-mashing because the books and the movies have a lot of action in them. There is even more detail in the books, where the battle for Hobbiton at the end of The Return of the King doesn’t feature in the movies, along with Saruman’s fate. The Lord of the Rings: The Two Towers held the record for the longest battle scene in history, until Game of Thrones beat it with The Long Night episode. So if they ever made an official Game of Thrones video game, expect there to be button-mashing in that, too.
I Wanted to be Aragorn, But I Felt More Like an Ent
I’ve never labelled myself as an excellent gamer. Mainly because I make stupid decisions. It took me a few attempts to realise that I was meant to blow up the archer towers on the other side of the gully. And I don’t know why I thought I’d survive walking under the footsteps of the Ents. Maybe my childhood naivety has never left me.
In the next mission, I was introduced to another task: Hiding from the Nazgul. This meant racing along the walls to find cover before the Nazgul icon filled, and having to wait an eternity for it to empty again. The strangest part about this mission, though, was having to climb down the longest ladder I’ve seen since Jack and the Beanstalk.
Then there is Gollum. I’ve always felt that his character offers a rare bit of colour in what can be quite a grey affair. Yes, we know that we’re going to have to fight to the death to save Middle-earth, but seeing Gollum argue with the hobbits and, of course, himself is a hilarious way of taking us out of the doom and gloom.
The Return of the King of Dad Jokes
We then fight the king of the dead, and I’m reminded of the best Dad joke I’ve ever heard. My Dad and I were sitting in front of the TV, he as Legolas and I as Aragorn (of course), when we were tasked with running out of the collapsing cave. After multiple attempts where we just couldn’t quite move fast enough, sweat was dripping from my forehead.
At this point, we were near the end of the level, and we only had one last corner to get past when a rock landed on Legolas’ head. The screen went blurry, and we both jumped up in agony. He then shook his controller in front of me and said, “Of course I can’t run as fast as you… I’m legless!
The Pros and Cons of Old School Gaming
Another thing I never realised when playing the game before is the special ability button. Press that when you’re in a difficult situation, and you’ll receive a boost which can help you survive. Unless you’re Sam. I pressed the buttons as him, and I became invisible, which meant I couldn’t attack enemies. This is great if you’re sneaking past a large group of Orcs, but when you have to kill a certain number of enemies, you’re just prolonging your inevitable downfall.
There was also a moment where I’d almost completed a level, only to realise that I had no arrows left to fight the passing elephant riders. In an open world game, I’d go and find some more arrows. Unfortunately, on the PlayStation 2, I had no option but to restart my console and play through the entire level again. This was a tedious process, but at least I answered a decades-long discussion about whether enemies stop spawning. Turns out, they do.
Where has all the Magic Gone?
It didn’t take long to replay the level while preserving my arrows, and this got me thinking. It’s the simplicity that makes this game so fun. There aren’t a thousand different weapons or backpacks or ways to travel around an enormous map. The objectives are simple and satisfying. Not all games need incredible graphics. They just have to be fun. They have to immerse the gamer in a world different from the one they’re in, and this game does that just as much as a game like Red Dead Redemption 2 does.
I’d love to see more official video games based on movies being made. When I was a kid, I was blessed with games from The Lord of the Rings, Star Wars, Harry Potter, and even Disney films. What a time to be alive it was. Now, kids have superhero games with different actors playing their favourite characters than the ones in the movies. That’s just confusing and has surely contributed to some games not being as successful as they could have been.
Unlocking an Old Fear
If you know me, you know that I don’t love spiders. I’ll never be one of those people who sit there cuddling a house spider or owning a tarantula. I’m willing to admit that I used to be afraid of playing this game at times, and that fear was especially present when I had to enter Shelob’s lair.
Even as an adult, I screamed when I first caught a glance of that terrifying beast walking by. Frodo’s cries added to my torment as I bravely attacked spiders that required so many hits that my skill level entered Perfect Mode when fighting them. It was either that or endlessly walking into dead ends.
Fire was my greatest ally in the caves, but as soon as I wandered into Shelob’s lair, I was overcome by a feeling of indifference towards my blog. Do I end the post here, or do I confront my demons? Remembering that I’m nearly thirty and that I had a wife in the other room, I decided that it was time to be brave and fight the oversized Frodo-stinger.
There were a few shrieks and screams when Shelob jumped off the ledge onto my head, but I battled on. Through Sam’s sheer determination and my canny attacking ability, we defeated the beast, and I had overcome my greatest fear.
There Are Only So Many People I Can Protect at Once
We’re then introduced to another new objective: keeping people alive. This was a pain. Between stopping giant elephants and well-armoured Orcs, I didn’t have time to babysit Hobbits and the elderly. I’d finally managed to master the game’s mechanics and could complete levels as quickly as possible. Instead, I had to stand in the way of any Orcs making their way to Gandalf because he’s an old man who lacks the endurance to fight multiple enemies. With him being so useless, I couldn’t help Legolas and Gimli, who, I’ll be honest, should have been more capable of protecting themselves.
There was a fun progression of enemies as you completed each level. Some tasks can be slightly repetitive, though, while hunting for health potions when I’m close to death can lead to a lot of parrying until the enemy opens themselves up for an attack. Even then, you’re not guaranteed a health potion, so levels can end up taking a long time. That’s if you don’t die, of course.
Video games used to be a lot more difficult in general. You used to only get one life, and if you lost it, you’d go all the way back to the start of the game. Games are easier these days, so The Return of the King is somewhere in the middle of the two extremes.
Am I Throwing the Ring in the Fire or Not?
The biggest issue I faced in this game is working out what it’s actually asking me to do. I spent way too long fighting an Orc whose health refused to go down, only to realise that I was meant to be throwing spears at him. Then there is Gollum, who, after three attempts of knocking him off the side of the rock, finally fell when I worked out that it was R2 that I was meant to be pressing, and not the circle button.
After Sam walked through the lava a few times, and I’d fought Gollum with one less finger than usual, the Ring did finally end up in the lava of Mount Doom, and Middle-earth was saved. Gandalf was smiling, Sauron was no more, and Aragorn enacted The Return of the King.
Was it Worth it?
Absolutely. I felt satisfied that my childhood memories lived up to my experience of playing The Lord of the Rings: The Return of the King again. We need more The Lord of the Rings games from EA. Not sharing this game with others makes me feel as selfish as Gandalf was when he only put the protective barrier over himself, and let all the other soldiers die a painful death.
The point of games for children is to work things out and to have fun doing it. These were the sort of games I grew up with, where you follow a story within a world that a writer as remarkable as J.R.R. Tolkien created. Whether you’re saving a character or completing a mission. Whatever you’re doing, you’re affecting the situation in a major way. You’re absorbed in a narrative while learning lessons about perseverance and enduring hard times.
Where did we go Wrong?
These days, kids are playing repetitive multiplayer games like Fortnite or EAFC, which don’t require much thinking or learning. Instead, we need more co-op games like It Takes Two, where people can sit on a sofa, order some food, and spend hours doing multiple activities and solving puzzles. People will feel like they’re achieving something, rather than coming off a multiplayer game feeling like they’ve wasted hours unlocking an item of clothing on a Battle Pass. And don’t even get me started on the parents who pay for their child to have the rewards on the Battle Pass instantly.
Anyway, The Lord of the Rings: The Return of the King is a short game, so kids aren’t overwhelmed by the mechanics of an eighty-hour playthrough of something like Assassin’s Creed. Those games are great if you can manage them, but I was eight years old playing The Return of the King, and it was perfect.
Verdict
My overall rating for The Lord of the Rings: The Return of the King on PlayStation 2 is 10/10.
And there we have one of the best games ever made. It’s not perfect, but then, not many things are in life. Yet it’s everything I remember it being as a child. When I have kids, I’m going to share this game with them. I’ll tell them that this was the blueprint of video games when I was their age. And if they don’t appreciate it for what it is, then I’ve failed them, and I’ve also failed myself in the process.
This blog post will also be available as a video on YouTube on Thursday, 17th July at 6 pm BST. Link: https://youtu.be/eoVcF6Q7nU8
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